and it starts to surface..

Jesus. only 3 days left of school. my social life for another year is about to diminish. The worst part is though, that I'm going to have this unnaturally large hole in my chest because there is so much that I'm going to miss. Come next year, I'm going to feel like i have no friends because all the seniors are leaving. there's so much i haven't said or done with them. I've confided in those people for quite awhile now, with a few in particular in mind. Graduation day is around the corner and i know I'm going to cry... so probably nobody will want to sit with me. haha. This is where life starts. This is where they start looking for jobs and begin thinking about starting families. Here comes the emotional Gabbi. I'm sorry if you have to experience this in person.

only 760 miles from home

So I'm sitting in a hallway at a ....college? i think? that i don't even know the name of.
we are waiting to get into a room to watch the duo finals.. and none of us from PC made it to finals.. but that's okay because we all are in jeans and it feels so nice. so very, very nice. especially when you get to have on sneakers after acquiring 3 blisters and an ingrown toenail. XD
But this trip is like the best trip I've ever been on. ever. free food. free hotel. Sara seeing me naked. just wow. XDD I even got to sleep with her hhahahaa.
anyway, the shopping continues, and this laptop is getting increasingly warm on my lap. The late night apples to apple-ing is so intense. so is the who-what-where-when-why game. i think i laughed till i cried at least 7 times. no exaggeration. I've switched genders for a day, too. mannn. this is amazing. XD

Before worms consume my flesh..

I've always had a mental list of things I've planned on doing before I die. So for fun, I'm going to actually write them down.. and obviously you can't do some of these alone, so feel free to volunteer if you're up for it =]

• attend the Olympics
• have my portrait painted
• skinny dipping
• streaking
• kiss: under fireworks and in the rain
• sex in the rain in a field
• send a message in a bottle
• learn to dance jazz
• shower in a waterfall
• spend a night in a haunted house [likely I'll chicken out]
• spend New Years in Time Square
• visit the Grand Canyon
• Scuba dive
• write a song
  I know there's more somewhere in there, but I can't think of any more off the top of my head. I know some of them are ridiculous, but hey. I'm especially fond of the waterfall idea though. =]

General Descriptions

...I've just discovered that this will not let me use paragraphs, and this will frustrate me more than you would guess. Anyway, my life currently consists of the following: school, family, forensics [until next week, anyway], 4H, the horses, rabbits, etc., preparing for 'Taming of the Shrew', work, friends... etc. I'm pretty busy for the most part, but i keep telling my mom, "if I wasn't this busy i might have done drugs". Obviously, I say this just to make her feel better. Don't get the wrong idea there. XD ...I know that just about every girl in existence will say 'I'm not your average girl'. This is obvious in any case, and I've stated my argument that 'being normal is weird'. this contradicts itself if you think about it, but it makes sense anyway. So my point is, no, I'm not average - obviously. I come off as loud, optimistic, and probably obnoxious to some. The thing is though, I'm way more emotional sometimes than I let people know. I'm a faithful journal writer, and secretly wish to publish a journal someday for my own benefit... even though that's about impossible with the content of mine. Really, that's the only place that I've ever confided all of my feelings and thoughts within. There are friends that know a lot of those secrets, but they don't know as much as they think they do. Sometimes that turns around to bite me in the ass, but what can you do? Sometimes i get those moments that i think people know more than they should, but at times that's almost what i need. I'm not a needy person, mind you. I'm not a jealous person, and every friendship or relationship I've ever been in, I always let people get away with probably more than they should. I've got a million stories to tell, and frequently i feel the need to tell someone, but most of the time i don't because 1. They probably aren't that interested 2. They're not exactly the best memories, some of them ....This is where i remind you that not having paragraphs is annoying the piss out of me... Let's change subjects, shall we? ... I have dreams that I'm embarrassed to tell about. Not the literal dreams, I'll tell you all about those and laugh about them.. but the dreams that involve the future. Anytime that i decide to tell someone what i really would love to do, I'm reminded that its about impossible for someone like me, in more ways than one. I might as well spell it out on here for you to understand. I'd love to stay on stage for the rest of my life. Musical Theatre would be the best out there, but the lack of dance experience and vocal skills really affects the application. That, and my being short affects my chances, too. I could go into a big discrimination topic right about now, but nobody wants to read about that when it's mentioned so much in everyday life. What doesn't make sense though is that I like being short. it's almost like my signature. Like Marilyn Monroe's mole, or Van Gogh's ear..It's what makes me... 'not your average girl', you could say.